Emotions are often described in metaphorical terms: a roller coaster, a tidal wave, a raging storm, the ground falling out from underneath your feet. Whether you are grappling with the perpetual adjustment demanded by nonfinite losses like chronic illness and caregiving or facing the sharp reality of finite losses such as the death of a loved one, the destruction of your home, or any other major life change, the chaos impacts every part of your being, including your ability to think straight.
If your loss is an ongoing saga without a clear endpoint, such as caring for a loved one, living with a chronic illness, or navigating the unpredictable waters of addiction or mental health challenges, journaling can be a regular check-in that helps you reset your self-care goals day after day.
How to write about your loss
- Express all emotions: Start by writing down whatever comes to mind about the loss. Don’t hold back. It’s important to acknowledge all feelings—sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief—without judgment. This unfiltered expression can be a relief in itself.
- Recount memories: Write about y our memories with the person or situation you’ve lost. This can include happy times, challenging times, or mundane moments. Recalling these memories can help you see the role they played in your life and can bring a sense of peace and gratitude amid the pain.
- Reflect on impact: Consider how the loss has changed you. Has it altered your view of the world? Your understanding of yourself? Writing about these changes can help you see how you’ve grown and what strengths you’ve drawn on or developed.
- Imagine conversations: Sometimes, you might have things left unsaid. Through journaling, you can write out these conversations. This can be a way to say goodbye, to express love, or to voice regrets and forgiveness.
- Find new meanings: As you write, you might discover new insights or connections that help you find meaning in the loss. This doesn’t mean justifying what happened, but finding a way to live with it that acknowledges the pain but also the possibilities for the future.
This extract is from Navigating Loss by Heather Stang . To get more blog posts like this one - direct to your inbox – be sure to sign up to our mailing list here.